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back on the happy day of January 19, 2002 when I bought the Boxster and every day since then.

I used my Boxster to pick up and carry to my house the cremated remains of my dear Father. Dad will remain here at my house until his burial which will be delayed as I with a sad and heavy heart await the death of my equally dear Mother -- who has been in hospice for around 6 months due to severe dementia -- so they both can be buried together. (Economics plays a role. Both had made it clear to me they wanted to be buried together in the same plot. The cemetery allows this but advised me that I should hold on to the remains of whichever parent died first until I have the remains of the 2nd parent so they can both be buried at the same time. If they are buried at two different times the cemetery charges for each opening of the burial plot. And this opening is not cheap. BTW, this is not my decision it was Dad's. Dear old Dad: Always saving money to the very end.)

My Dad passed away in his sleep early on the 3rd of November at the age of 95 at a board and care home in Pleasanton, CA. Cause of death is listed as cardiopulmonary arrest due to heart failure. His ticker just wore out. Dad had been in hospice for only a couple of months due to this condition, and we -- my sister and I -- never thought the end would come so soon.

As I drove Dad home I could hear my Dad commenting on the weather: "Not a cloud in the sky" and making other observations he he liked to make during previous rides as I at other times drove him around in the Boxster -- later in the Turbo as Dad was unable to get into the low seat of the Boxster. How I managed to make it safely home with tears in my eyes I have no idea.
I've been busy these last few days mainly with Mom. The care home sent me a letter dated 10/29/2014 that it wanted to bump Mom and Dad's care home rent per month from $5900 to $7000 and on a 2 day notice. Well what with Dad's condition and all I didn't open the mail until after the 3rd of November. The reason given was "change in care level". Well, I argued that Dad was gone and Mom's care level is the same as it has been for months now and there was no increase back then that the increase was uncalled for.

We went around a bit but reached no real agreement. Also, I would have to move Mom (again) from where she is now -- she and Dad are in a nice bedroom suite with their own private bathroom, but only Dad was able to use it -- to another care home, owned by this same woman and her husband that own the facility where Mom is now, and where Mom (and Dad) stayed before. I decided if I had to move Mom again I'd try to find her a less expensive place.

She was facing anywhere from $4000/month down to a possible low of $3500/month. With Dad gone her income drops quite a bit. His pension was more than Mom's. She gets his Social Security which helps some.

To make matters worse I was laid off rather unexpectedly on September 16 after 10.6 years with my employer, with nothing but good reviews, bonuses, and raises, in fact one just shortly before I was laid off. (I suspect my age: 63; had something to do with it even though I outwork workers less than half my age and had no intention of retiring at 65.) Did not get any severance package either. Just here's your hat don't let the door hit you on your ass on the way out. (Was right in the middle of a project and didn't even get to go back up to my office and save my work and turn off my work PC.) Others were laid off too. (This company does this "big" layoff thing every few years: It is rather dysfunctional and will probably close down in a few years anyhow.) While I have had some tentative job offers, they are far flung (Chatsworth, CA and someplace in NC) from where I live now while it was just me I'd go where I had to go to work, but it is not just me now and I can't move away and leave Mom and I can't take Mom with me.

Anyhow I've been busy and found Mom a care home here in Livermore, just a mile from me -- the one she's at now is 10 miles away -- (it makes a difference, as I check on her twice a day) -- for a "bargain price" of $3000/month and the price remains the same as long as Mom is there. The care home is well aware of Mom's care needs: she is bedridden, is blind, deaf, and suffering from severe dementia, has to be fed pureed foods and thickened water/juices; so this is good news.

Just finished moving her small accumulation of personal things: chair, TV, floor lamp; and the hospice provider will deliver a special bed and other equipment and supplies that is needed for her care. Mom gets transported Tuesday at 10AM.

Once I get Mom moved and the dust settles I can resume my job searching. And mourning dear old Dad.
Marc, my sincere condolences o the passing of your dad, and so sorry to hear about all the other problems you're going through. I know it's hard, but keep your chin up...this too shall pass.
Marc, my sincere condolences o the passing of your dad, and so sorry to hear about all the other problems you're going through. I know it's hard, but keep your chin up...this too shall pass.
+1; you're going through some very dificult times now, but they will pass.
Hang in there..
It's very difficult to lose a parent, and to care for the other. Dementia makes it even more difficult. ...... It sounds like you are making good decisions, one at a time. Hang in there, remember to take care of your self and some time alone. You need to stay healthy to care for her. Patience and time will help heal.

My thoughts and prayers are with you
Condolences, literally, from me, also, Marc. It's a bitter battle all around. For my dad, cancer. My mom, ALS. In a few short years, aunts, uncles, and a couple cousins died, one of whom was only 38. The pages keep turning. I wish you peace of mind and spirit.
My thoughts and prayers for strength, peace and the best of memories are with you and your family, Marc. Each day is truly a gift.
I know how difficult it is to watch loved ones age and suffer these afflictions.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
My prayers are with you Marc. Reach out to your friends and family for support. Remember that you have lots of friends here too.
Pedro Bonilla
1998 Boxster 986 - 299,000+ miles: [www.PedrosGarage.com]

PCA National Club Racing Scrutineer - PCA National HPDE Instructor - PCA Technical Committee (Boxster/Cayman)

Racecar spelled backwards is Racecar

"Racing is life. Anything before or after is just waiting" ... Steve McQueen as Michael Delaney in "LeMans"

"If you wait, all that happens is that you get older"... Mario Andretti

"Being second is to be the first of the ones who lose" ... Ayrton Senna

And actually, being the same plot has very nice symbolism. Mom and Dad also share a plot.

Living to such a ripe old age is wonderful. And then, when life is not what it was, we can only hope to go peacefully surrounded by those who love us. Your Dad did.



"A mile of highway will take you one mile. A mile of runway will take you anywhere."
So sorry for your loss.

I remember all the happy times when you made your epic Boxster road trips from California to Missouri to visit your parents. Those are the memories you'll cherish..

Regards, -rick.
Condolences, Marc. Went through similar times with my parents.

So very sorry to hear. Also about the job searching. That just adds to the load. Best wishes.

Very sorry to hear Marc. Went through similar with my Dad. Was tough cause he lasted so long while struggling so much. That's the reason my Boxster plates read ME'N'DAD.
Best to you and the job search.
Marc, I've read many of your posts over the years and the thing that always stood out was how much you went out of your way to advise others. Even follow up posts.

Your generosity here and I'm sure elsewhere is a nice tribure to your parents.

Sorry for your loss and your mom's illness. You're a good son.
any one of which is enough for you to handle at a time. I know some of the feeling, lost dad to brain cancer and then a year, month and day later mom to complications from stomach cancer. Wrestled with executor duties and caring for her at home in between with working and little kids. Can't imagine the load on your head with job difficulties too.

You have my thoughts and sympathy.

May the world treat you as gently and helpfully as you have treated so many in the online world over the years.
but I just have to tell you that the unselfish devotion that you have shown in taking care of your parents in their time of need is a rapidly disappearing quality in our society these days. You should derive strength from knowing that your parents must have appreciated everything that you did to help them when they could no longer help themselves. Your former employer behaved as many companies do these days and they are always only concerned about their own bottom line. As others have said above, this too shall pass, eventually, and you will be left with the comfort that you did the right thing on both fronts, the personal and the business side. Hang in there and we are all praying for you to get through these most difficult of times.

Sincerely, Maurice.
Marc, Maurice has captured it all, beautifully.

Your parents raised you well, as evidenced by your unselfish devotion to, and care of, them.

At times such as this, music can often provide comfort. George Harrison's 'All Things Must Pass' comes to mind.
alone or unique in my devotion to my parents and overseeing their care and being concerned about their well-being. There is a large number of older people receiving assisted care, or board and care, or hospice/nursing home care and almost invariably there is at least one family member directly involved.

I was made aware of this when I was beginning the search for assisted care for my parents. I talked to various people and was surprised to learn how many people had a family member in some kind of care home, if only assisted care. I was with my Mom in the emergency room one evening and after the crisis was over I was talking with one of the ER nurses on duty who told me she had her Mom in a care home, one she highly recommended and one I eventually selected for my parents. One of the pharmacy employees where I bought my parents' medicines was overseeing her Mom's care and we used to talk about care issues. One of the owners of the company I worked for oversaw his mother-in-law's nursing care. And so on.

Also, at the care homes I over time I observed the other residents and liked to see most of them getting regular visits from family members. This is important. As some of you might recall my sister was in the hospital almost a year. Even though she said I didn't have to visit her I visited her often because I wanted to show the hospital staff someone outside of the hospital cared for this person and the idea was this would result in the staff giving my sister a bit more care. The same with my parents. I visited them often, sometimes twice a day. Sure I wanted to see my parents, spend some time with them, and help them pass the time, but I also wanted to show the care home staff that I was paying close attention to the care my parents were receiving.
Hi, Sorry for your loss Marc. I too carried my Dad home (Florida to Canada). I still remember going through customs and they asked me if I had anything to declare?.."of course", I stated proudly...'My Dad" I still think about my Dad quite often. Especially when my wife says..."you remind me your Dad" I always respond "Gee Thanks" The memories will last a lifetime!smiling smiley

i cannot imagine the sense of loss of losing a close family member. As many have stated, we are here for you, and you and your family are in our prayers.

Guards Red 1999
I'm not a race car driver, but I play one in 2nd and 3rd gear grinning smiley
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