Grant -- maybe you can clarify what is not coming apart, but I think you are talking about the ball joints where the control arm & tie rod attach to the wheel carrier.
Not necessarily in this order, you should:
- Remove all brake stuff, wiring (ABS sensor etc.). At this point you have 3 nuts/bolts holding the wheel carrier to the car.
- Remove the pinch bolt, so that the PSS9 is loosened from the wheel carrier. (I think this also disconnects the drop link and sway bar from the wheel carrier, right?)
- Remove the nut holding the tie rod to the front corner of the wheel carrier.
- Remove the nut holding the control arm to the rear corner of the wheel carrier.
Sounds like this is now where you are.
- I know you need ( "really should use" ) a ball joint separator for at least one of the ball joints, maybe both. I would be very leery of putting a hammer on those because you can bend the bolt or damage the threads, but I know it happens. --> OBTAIN CHEAP BALL JOINT SEPARATOR for $20 at Harbor Freight.
- Once those 3 connections (pinch bolt/drop link + control arm + tie rod) are severed, you can slide/wiggle the wheel carrier down off the shock, but the detached control arm may be in the way unless you loosen the pivot bolt or even remove it, to provide clearance below; it normally does not pivot down very far. Or you can loosen the shock top mounting to allow wiggle room, but that tweaks your camber unless you put it back exactly. I believe that r&r'ing the control arm pivot bolt should cause NO change in alignment.